MC CRAZY BREAD "9-9-9 is a Joke"

My homage to Public Enemy's classic song "9-1-1 is a Joke" updated for the Herman Cain era.


9-9-9- is a Joke


Hit me
Going going gone
Now I proposed 999 a long time ago
Don't you see how now they're reactin'
They only come and they come when I poll well
I'll get the right sound bite to sell well
I don't care 'cause I stay paid anyway
I'll teach ya like an ace that can't be betrayed
I know I stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line, don't care if you're dead today
I'ma late coming man with the late coming plan to getcha
It's a body bag in disguise y'all betcha
I call it body snatchers quick they come to fetch ya?
With a bankruptcy suit just to dissect ya
We are the kings 'cause we swing low taxation
Lose your arms, your legs to us it's the enterprise system
I can prove it to you just watch the juxtaposition
It all adds up to a funky situation
So get up get, get get down
999 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get, get, get down
Late 999 wears the late crown

999 is a joke

Everyone knows the math don’t never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the pocket protect
He’s a witness to the job never adding up
He would’ve been in full in 999 and some
It's a joke ’cause we always jokin’
I’m the token to your life when it’s croakin’
You’ll need to be in a pawn shop on a
999 is a joke but we want ‘em
If I have my way the poverty will come quicker
The bankers huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that ’cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin’ at ya while you’re crawlin’ on your knees
And to the strength so go the length
Thinkin’ you are first when you really are tenth
I hope you don’t wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 999 is a fake life saver

So get up, get, get get down
999 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get, get, get down
Late 999 wears the late crown

Ow, ow 999 is a joke

From that bastion of liberal media, Forbes, comes this:
Herman Cain's 9-9-9 Plan Straight Out of SimCity?

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Rarely does the world of politics cross over into my little video game corner here, much less something as significant as the presidential race, but I woke up today with a note in my inbox that claimed candidate Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 tax plan might have had gaming inspiration.

As it turns out, in Maxis’s SimCity 4, the default tax rates actually all start at 9% for commercial taxes, 9% for industrial and 9% for residential. It’s not exactly corporate, income and sales, but it’s close enough to be noticeable.

The Huffington Post made the connection, and contacted Maxis for comment. Senior producer Kip Katsarelis seemed bemused.

“We encourage politicians to continue to look to innovative games like SimCity for inspiration for social and economic change,” said Katsarelis. “While we at Maxis and Electronic Arts do not endorse any political candidates or their platforms, it’s interesting to see GOP candidate Herman Cain propose a simplified tax system like one we designed for the video game SimCity 4.”

Cain cites his own economic advisors for coming up with the plan, not the video game, but one has to wonder, if it’s right for SimCity, is it right for America? My thriving virtual metropolis would at least seem to think so.

But in reality, Cain’s plan would be in effect raising taxes on the poor, many of whom currently pay no income tax, raising taxes on the middle class, due to the loss of tax credits and the increased sales tax, and lowering taxes for the rich. Democrats obviously hate it, but even many Republicans oppose the increases it would trigger, and Cain’s rivals for the nomination have jumped on him by saying that his plan might be simple, but it wouldn’t work in practice.

The Cain camp remains resolute however responding to the SimCity comparisons by saying “everyone likes 9-9-9.” While that might be true for some, unfortunately there aren’t any cheat codes to make the math work in real life.